The world is falling apart, we know this. We see it, we feel it, and that’s been true for many of us for a long time. The rise of the far right bringing the left together and creating increasing civil unrest is a cycle that has been enacted again and again through time, albeit with different language and political steaks each time. There is no impending doom, there is no spark threatening fire. We are in it and it’s a rager with all the psychological and emotional intensity to be expected. I do not say that to dismiss the gravity of this moment or suggest a futility of organizing against oppressive empires. I feel very much the opposite: now is the time to hit the wave and ride it hard!

Why in the world does sex matter at a time like this?

People look to sex for a lot of different reasons. To affirm a sense of self-worth, to feel connected to someone they care about, to validate a sense of belonging in an identity or community, to secure housing or finances, or to feel more alive than in any other aspect of their life. Sex is also creative: a playground where we can learn more about ourselves than we ever believed possible from our most tender of animal impulses to or most outrageous of chaotic urges. When we truly feel welcomed to be our most authentic selves in such an embodied and vulnerable act, I whole-heartedly believe there is a connection to the spiritual and physical self that reflects our true nature.

If we approach our sexual lives with receptivity to accepting whatever it is that we find, no matter how surprising, we will learn more about ourselves in one sexual encounter than in any therapy session.

It is no surprise, then, that sexuality is often the battleground of normative culture and powerful regimes throughout history. Historians have stated many times in one way or another how sanctions on sex are used to control the migration and population of a country. Propaganda about who is desirable, who is evil, who is worthy of sex all funnel toward the end game of the powerful. Sometimes that’s to make babies for the workforce or take-up space on stolen land. Sometimes that’s to justify sexual violence to assert domination and control over others to enact a genocide for the sake of access to resources. Sometimes building a hatred toward sexuality and gender is a life-threatening smokescreen to rip apart communities and keep us fractured and busied. Obscuring the reality of our sexual selves is a disastrously effective way to weaken our sense of worth, connection, belonging, safety, and vitality as individuals and as communities.

Sex is only one pathway to an erotic life, let alone to our true nature! But even getting to say, “sex is not the most important part of my life” or “I don’t want any sex to be a part of my life” is a liberation the powerful don’t want you to have.

Here is the point at which I must remind you: if pursuing a mind-blowing sex life is not your top priority right now, you are not politically failing yourself or anyone else. If that is your truth, that is beautiful and important to respect. And this is exactly my point. Sex is not some frivolity to feel ashamed of when the world around us seems so fragile. In this politically violent and devastating time protecting our sexuality is an act of self preservation. It is a life-saving pursuit.