What is sex therapy?

Sex therapy includes elements of both counselling and psychotherapy.

Counselling typically involves specific goals and your counsellor may give sexual health information and advise you on how to reach your sexual health goals.

Psychotherapy involves changing the way you understand yourself or the way you think. Your therapist may give less advice than a counsellor and act more as a mirror— reflecting back to you things they notice as you work through self-understanding.

Sex counselling and sex therapy often work together. Frequently people require both new knowledge and guidance through reflecting on their experiences.

Why is sex therapy by and for the autistic and ADHD community different from typical sex therapy?

Ideally, there would be no difference! But the reality is most sex therapy training resources do not explicitly teach how sex therapy approaches need to be modified for autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD (a combination of autism and ADHD traits) people and relationships. Particular attention to managing states of overwhelm/under-stimulation, unmasking, impulsivity, energy cycles, sensory processing accommodations, sensitivity to rejection, communication skills, all require personalized approaches. This is true when exploring sexual curiosities alone or with partners in mixed and homogenous neurotype relationships.

Understanding how neurodivergence changes the landscape of other common topics in sex therapy like gender identity, sexual orientation, kink, non-monogamy, disabilities, and compulsive sexual behaviours is also not explored in the vast majority of trainings. To fill the gap, I have synthesized conversations with colleagues, insights from my clinical practice, and lived experience with autism and ADHD to provide sex therapy services with our spicy brains in mind!

What happens in sex therapy?

Sex therapy is an opportunity to explore your sexuality in a compassionate space either on your own or with your partner(s). We work together to navigate through these challenges so you can gain insight and information about your sexuality and move toward sexual connection with yourself and others.

Who do I work with? I work with individuals, couples, and relationships. I prioritize working with people who are either diagnosed or suspect they may be on the spectrum or partnered with someone living with Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD traits, 2SLGBTQIA+ including intersex and asexual populations. I also work with cis women and men, parents, pregnant folks, kinky folks, polyamorous relationships, single parents, and sex workers.

What do people bring to sessions? People work with me to address obstacles with enjoying or expressing their sexuality. I have varying degrees of expertise in different areas of sexuality and several topics of current professional development interest.

Areas of expertise:

• Autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD traits in the context of sexual health
• wanting more or less sex than a partner(s)
• sexual communication skills, verbal and non-verbal
• sensory overwhelm during sex
• low sexual desire
• sex addiction/compulsive sexual behaviour
• asexual identity exploration and/or obstacles in navigating a pro-sex world
• transgender identity exploration and impact on sexual expression
• sexual pleasure after abuse, traumatic sexual experiences, or shame
• childhood sexual abuse and sexual assault/violence
• vaginismus, vulvadynia, pain with penetration
• navigating health conditions that impact sex
• exploring kinky sex

Current areas of professional development:

• Sexual pleasure after gender affirming surgeries
• Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder
• erectile dysfunctions and premature ejaculation
• healing from sexually offending or accusations of sexual violence

Areas of limited professional expertise (referrals available):

• Exploring gender identity (without a focus on sexuality)
• Exploring neurodivergent traits (without a focus on sexuality)
• losing consciousness or conscious awareness during therapeutic sessions or during sex

Where do sessions take place? Online or via telephone. Administrative communication (appointment reminders, invoices, etc.) is conducted via e-mail.

How many sessions do we have? We start with 6 weekly or biweekly sessions and then evaluate if continuation of services for another 6 weekly or biweekly sessions would be beneficial. 2 to 3 of the sessions are dedicated to assessment.

Fees. Sessions are $185-$210/hour for individuals and $200-$225/hour for relationships/couples depending on whether or not you would like a written report of your particular sexual health needs. I am a Registered Psychotherapist and my fees are covered by insurance companies that cover registered psychotherapists.

Complimentary 20min consult. Everyone can book a complimentary 20min phone consult to see if these services are the best fit for your needs.

If you’d like to explore sex therapy options further, please contact me directly for a free 20min consult.